by Lynn Patrick Smith

Waiting for the Paper

My paperboy is sleeping in again
so I’m staring at some scare-tactic infomercial
about my body’s bankrupt enzymes
being the reason for the recent demise
of my high energy level
and how they don’t replace themselves.
Of course this Doctor has a remedy
that is so obvious someone should have
already thought of it.
And he doesn’t want a Nobel Prize
just thirty-nine ninety-five.

Yesterday it was the Rolling Fat Burner
wheeling its way into my living room
promising to cure all my ills
as I coast back and forth across the floor
on its patented caster wheels
literally feeling the results
in minutes.

I’ll tell you, I can tolerate lactose
and I’m not lacking essential nutrients
available in convenient powder mixes
now with five fresh flavors
and I have no burning desire
to relive the 70s with the
Bellbottom Rock CD collection.
I don’t even need Ginkgo Biloba to remember
why I feel out of sorts.
It’s because the world is starting up
and I’m sitting here with a cup of coffee
and no newspaper.

-originally appeared in These Little Scenes, Fireweed Press, 2006, by Lynn Patrick Smith.